The best way to describe why I’m making the decision I’m about to tell you is this…
For the past few years, I’ve been in a very comfortable and quiet room surrounded by people I love that can still hear the music.
There was once music playing for me. I heard it in the distance, it’s what led me here in the first place.
I’m not sure when exactly it happened, but the music began to fade like someone taking off my headphones, leaving me in the middle of a silent disco. Nothing will drive you mad like being surrounded by people dancing to music when all you can hear is the muffled bleed coming from their headphones.
For the past couple years, I’ve been hearing music playing in the distance but I’m not sure where it’s coming from, what it is, or how far away it is.
Two things I know for certain. It’s music specifically meant for me to join in on and there’s no way for me to know what it is, or where it’s coming from until I leave the comfort of my current situation.
This room has been too comfortable, to financially stabile, and to familiar to leave until now. I mean… It took me so long to get here… shouldn’t I just be grateful and stay a bit longer?
For almost twenty years, a massive part of my musical journey has involved playing “Worship” music in the American Evangelical Christian faith community.
Hundreds of daily small ‘chapel’ services at the Christian university I attended, massive conferences, tracking on albums, traveling all over the world and multiple tours here in the U.S. playing at countless churches across America staying in host homes (*deep breath for a run-on sentence like a run-on life*) has instilled within me a realization of how much value and inspiration so many people across the world have found in this type of music.
I’ve decided to step down from playing bass live in the Evangelical Christian Church setting for many personal reasons but I believe that it would be extremely arrogant for me to be judgmental of music or a setting that others find value in or try and save face by lying and saying I never heard it myself.
Instead, I choose look back on the past 20 years of my life in thankfulness and gratitude.
To all of you that I’ve had the massive honor of getting to to make music with in this setting… The worship albums we’ve recorded; the windows of vans, cars, and planes we’ve looked out of; the hotel rooms and host homes we’ve shared; the meaningful music we’ve made… I’m grateful for you beyond the ability to express here.
It’s with great excitement that I step off one stage and onto another.
Maybe it’s all connected and it’s all part of one big stage…
Either way, all I know is there’s music to be made, and it’s worth risking opening the door and stepping out into the unknown in order to hear what it sounds like.
“Remember how long you’ve been putting this off, how many extensions the god(s) gave you, and you didn’t use them. At some point you have to recognize what world it is that you belong to; what power rules it and from what source you spring; that there is a limit to the time assigned you, and if you don’t use it to free yourself it will be gone and never return.” - Marcus Aurelius (Stoic Philosopher and Roman Emperor)